In a few minutes or so, I'll be off with my dad to visit a family friend who'd just given birth to her newborn son. I'm not especially close to her, but since she had visited me TWICE after I'd given birth to my son, I think its time to return the same favour to her, especially since I hadn't done so when she'd first given birth to her first three kids ( how do these people cope??).
The question on my mind now is, what should I bring as a gift for them? And should the gift be for her, the mother, or for the baby? Usually this situation would be a no-brainer for me, someone gives birth, automatically my brain goes: Get present for baby. Done. But this time around, I hesitate and think. What is the purpose of the gift? To celebrate the birth of a newborn baby per se? Or to congratulate the mother (oh ok, and the father too) for a job well done? Who takes priority in the scheme of things? Who would have thought such a mundane thing like getting a gift could get so complicated?
All these thoughts had been subconsciously playing in my mind for quite a while, but they came to light only after reading my friend, Melissa's blog. She had written about how she prefers getting gifts for the mothers instead of the usual practice of buying a gift for the baby, her reasons being, "1) I’ve known the mother longer;2) The baby won’t remember;3) The baby would have gotten a lot of presents anyway; and 4) The mother is the one who does all the job".
Melissa's got a point there. Having gone through the incredible (and nerve-wrecking) experience of childbirth myself I can definitely see what she's getting at. Although my post-delivery experience was relatively smooth sailing, except for the initial first 2 weeks where I had suffered from feelings of anxiety, helplessness and slight bouts of depression at the novelty of being a mother and having a tiny baby totally dependent on you 24-7, I had come across the stories of other young mothers who really suffered from post-delivery depression, and one even confessed to feeling miserable at being "left out" from the celebrations, with well-wishers hovering all over the tiny angelic baby, and the mother in confinement being left on the sidelines (perhaps unintentionally). On hindsight, it would have been gratifying for a new mother to receive some attention from well-wishers too, to receive a gift that symbolically meant a pat on the back, hey, good job, glad YOU'RE alright.
All these thoughts had been subconsciously playing in my mind for quite a while, but they came to light only after reading my friend, Melissa's blog. She had written about how she prefers getting gifts for the mothers instead of the usual practice of buying a gift for the baby, her reasons being, "1) I’ve known the mother longer;2) The baby won’t remember;3) The baby would have gotten a lot of presents anyway; and 4) The mother is the one who does all the job".
Melissa's got a point there. Having gone through the incredible (and nerve-wrecking) experience of childbirth myself I can definitely see what she's getting at. Although my post-delivery experience was relatively smooth sailing, except for the initial first 2 weeks where I had suffered from feelings of anxiety, helplessness and slight bouts of depression at the novelty of being a mother and having a tiny baby totally dependent on you 24-7, I had come across the stories of other young mothers who really suffered from post-delivery depression, and one even confessed to feeling miserable at being "left out" from the celebrations, with well-wishers hovering all over the tiny angelic baby, and the mother in confinement being left on the sidelines (perhaps unintentionally). On hindsight, it would have been gratifying for a new mother to receive some attention from well-wishers too, to receive a gift that symbolically meant a pat on the back, hey, good job, glad YOU'RE alright.
So I'm thinking, how about I split the budget for the gift, and get a gift for the mummy AND the baby too? What do you think the gifts should be? And how do you go about deciding whether this is the right present for this particular set of mummy and baby (I think its quite safe to assume that the daddy doesn't expect anything at this point, or do you think otherwise?) Do you put some thought in the gift you're getting, or buy the first gift that comes in sight, get gifts for their aesthetic quality, or be downright practical and get gifts that you think would come in handy?
Buying gifts for the baby is easy, there are so many things out there, from clothes, to toys, to even baby mobiles for cribs,
but I think most people would be left in a quandary when it comes to buying gifts for the mothers, so I've compiled a list of gifts that I think new mothers would definitely appreciate:
but I think most people would be left in a quandary when it comes to buying gifts for the mothers, so I've compiled a list of gifts that I think new mothers would definitely appreciate:
1. a toiletry set to pamper the poor, exhausted woman and help revive her spirits
2. Brand's essence of chicken or even that new product they have now, InnerShine or something?
My mother-in-law bought me cartons of this, and even though the taste was, umm, not quite my cup of tea, it did help me build up my strength and recover faster.
5. post-natal set products
(hey, we girls need all the help we can get to keep looking bootylicious)
My mother-in-law bought me cartons of this, and even though the taste was, umm, not quite my cup of tea, it did help me build up my strength and recover faster.3. A homemade broth of longan and red dates; well known amongst the Chinese community to be good for mothers in confinement
I had come across this instant tea packets in Singapore, and it tasted quite alright actually, somewhat like a lychee drink.
I had come across this instant tea packets in Singapore, and it tasted quite alright actually, somewhat like a lychee drink.
4. an aromatherapy spa package voucher
(No sane woman would be able to refuse this!)
5. post-natal set products
(hey, we girls need all the help we can get to keep looking bootylicious)6. a babysitting gift certificate
(you dont need to buy this, just make one up yourself, or you can get a printable one from the Net. A babysitting gift whereby you promise to spare a few hours of your time to care for the baby and let the mummy do her own THING. This would especially come in handy for those mothers without a live-in nanny and who desperately needs some ME time to herself, and I can betcha this would be the most appreciated gift of all)
(you dont need to buy this, just make one up yourself, or you can get a printable one from the Net. A babysitting gift whereby you promise to spare a few hours of your time to care for the baby and let the mummy do her own THING. This would especially come in handy for those mothers without a live-in nanny and who desperately needs some ME time to herself, and I can betcha this would be the most appreciated gift of all)
Tell me what you think ;)
